


Asphyxiation

by FanfictionFever



Series: Whumptober [19]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, Suicide, Whumptober
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 02:55:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21228620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanfictionFever/pseuds/FanfictionFever
Summary: He just wanted Zoe.Everyone just wants Zoe.





	Asphyxiation

_Breathe._

It was harder than it looked. 

_Breathe._

He can’t.

_Breathe._

Connor brought his hands to his throat, as if he could claw at whatever was restricting the flow of air to his lungs. Nothing was there. No one suffocating him. It was just another flower from the damn things within his lungs. He sat in his bed, heaving as the air finally rushed in. As soon as it was in, though, it seemed gone again. 

Breathing had been difficult for the past few days. At first it was fine. Nothing was wrong. Connor would walk the halls of school, hands shoved in his pocket as he proceeded on the whole ‘what a dick’ rep that he had going for him. Then someone popped into his life, showed him even just the smallest amount of love and attention, and suddenly small blue flowers were coming out of his mouth.

Petals at first. Covered in jut spit. Then more came at once, then whole flowers covered in red that hid the blue. As soon as he had seen it the first time he knew it was better to lock himself in his room. Now it seemed that he couldn’t take a single breath. It had gone from one whole flower to a flower and some petals then all the way to everything combined followed by a rather large amount of blood. 

Now it seemed he was doomed. Suffocation was fatal in Hanahaki Disease, and while he knew there were ways to get it removed (confessing, for one, but no - and surgery was a no go since he couldn’t even admit to himself this would happen to him), Connor found it so much easier to let this thing kill him on its own. After all he wanted to go. That was that. Evan - for that’s who he loves - doesn’t even like Connor.

He just wanted Zoe. 

Everyone just wants Zoe.

So, Connor found himself lying on his back, staring at his ceiling. Maybe this time, when the plants began growing up, he wouldn’t try to heave and cough it out. Instead he would allowed the blood and petals to take over his throat and mouth completely, leaving him unable to breathe or more anymore. As scary as it was, he knew it was for the best. No one would miss him anyways. No friends. Family hates him. 

_Evan._

No. 

Evan just wants Zoe. 

In the end, he laid down, eyes closing. When he felt the next flower coming up he didn’t fight it, instead letting it stop his flow of air. As much as his body screamed to move, to cough and fight death, Connor didn’t. Instead his hands gripped blankets and pillows. The coughing started up too late, and soon he found his body going still, not a single breath being taken.


End file.
